Sunday, November 17, 2013

How I Know I Love Someone

So here's how I know I love someone.  Initially I'll feel that nervous flutter that first made itself known back in first grade when I had a crush on the girl who sat next to me in class.  But then that feeling turns into something more complex: I want to take that person to the remotest desert and stand there looking at the horizon: the sand, the rocky formations, the endless sky.  I want to feel the blazing sun, and take his hand in mine.  In the background I hear a piece of music like Jesse Cook's Cafe Mocha.  We stand there until we know to look at each other.  Then we walk down that desert highway, going confidently in an unknown direction, not caring about the destination.  S. is that person in my life right now.

Loving someone who does not love you back makes for an interesting experience.  I feel like I am split in two.  Tonight I walked with him for ten minutes, and never once looked him in the eye.  I couldn't manage it.  I felt the moment I did, I would be betraying the understanding that we have: we are just friends.  And once I cross that line, the friendship is over.  I would lose him, and betray myself.  Love can overpower anyone at any time.  In the past I would have withered under its relentless attack.  Tonight I felt like I could fight back.            


3 comments:

Unknown said...

Super!

olcia-believe.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

Super!

olcia-believe.blogspot.com

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