Sunday, May 25, 2008

A Handful of Water

So I did something kind of crazy on my birthday Sunday. I answered an ad on craigslist and went hiking with a guy I had never met before. He was a nice kid; intelligent, well-spoken; but not much of that elusive chemistry. So what was it that possessed both of us to meet without so much as an exchange of pictures? Plain and simple: loneliness. There's just a lot of loneliness in this city. It's what makes us go full speed ahead from one thing to another so we can just forget about the loneliness, even if just for a moment. I think a lot of us choose our loneliness. The alternative, of course, is choosing to be with someone you don't really feel much anything for. Which is worse? Is it better to die alone, proud not to have settled for someone we didn't much care for? Or better to die knowing you never met the person you really wanted to meet in this lifetime? We meet so many people in this city. Like a handful of water that slips through the fingers.

3 comments:

TCho said...

hey, i think you called me this past weekend. sorry i didn't return your call. I tend not to look at my received call log until days later if the person didn't leave a voicemail.

hope we can hang out soon.

thwany said...

i would never settle for anyone.

if you knowingly go into a relationship with the hopes and intentions and it doesn't work out, that's one thing. but to knowingly start something that you know will ultimately be a waste of time and energy for both parties, why bother?

Raven said...

Happy belated birthday!

I've chosen my loneliness. Most of the time I don't even bother to date. Last weekend I did meet a pretty cool guy, but he lives clear across the country from me (not only that, but in Canada), and neither of us asked for contact info. Most of the time I'm pretty happy being alone, but it's true sometimes you feel the need for something more and it's not there.