Friday, December 7, 2007

I Will Die Another Day

And to think that this man, Michael Hayden, could have been my boss today had I chosen to take that job with the CIA ten years ago. It's one of the big "what ifs" in my life. What if I had decided to become an operations officer? Would I be HIV+ today? Would I have ever come out to my family? Would I have a completely different identity? Without a doubt, the reeling machinations of our nation's premiere intelligence agency convince me that I dodged a cloak, not to mention the dagger. There have been more intelligence directors in the past decade than Japanese prime ministers and bad Jennifer Anniston movies combined. The agency totally botched intelligence efforts concerning the events that led to 9/11. It was utterly helpless in protecting one of their own in Valerie Plame. And now this. Today there was news that the agency destroyed videotapes showing CIA operatives interrogating terrorist suspects, a cover-up that's already being compared to Watergate. You just get the feeling that bread and butter and tea and scones weren't exactly served at these little Q and A gatherings. Would I have been called upon to extract information? Would I have been ordered to torture and destroy? Would I have been proudly serving my country? To kill or be killed, that is the question.


Raven said...

It's always strange and sometimes painful thinking about what-ifs. Similar to your CIA experience, I once passed the written part of the foreign service exam but chose not to appear for the oral part. It's weird thinking about what I might be now if I had chosen otherwise.

Actually what I would probably be is a person who passed the written and failed the oral. :)

J.T. said...


You totally crack me up! I guess I would not have experienced this moment of laughter if I had not become HIV+. Thanks for the cheer in a freezing NYC December.

Raven said...

Glad I made you laugh!