Goodbye S

My friend S died last week of a brain tumor. He was 29. I feel so hollow. Life is so random. Last week I marveled at how the smallest things could make my day: a 3 year-old child who decided to bestow a smile on me; a Starbucks barista who refilled my coffee for free; someone who steadied my balance as the subway came to a screeching halt. And today, I hear the news that S is gone.

S ate more than anyone else I knew, relishing every last bite. He could devour four packages of ramen noodles in one sitting. The last time I saw him at the hospital, he gobbled down the hospital food for crying out loud. S was an avid snowboarder and skiier. He loved going to baseball games. When he laughed, he laughed out loud and silly.

If I had known I would never see him again, I would have asked him for his snowboard.

I don't know how to snowboard.